Think You’re ‘Too Introverted’ to Network? Think Again! (Ep #24)

Networking has a bit of a reputation problem.
 Too salesy, too shouty, too not you.

If you’ve ever skipped an event because you couldn’t face the awkward intros and forced smiles – this episode is for you.

In this episode of The Upside-Up Marketing Podcast, I’m joined by Janine Friston from The Female Business Network to explore how networking can be quiet, powerful, and totally on your terms – even if you’d rather hide in the toilets than “work the room”.

We’re unpacking the real value of networking, how it can deepen your marketing, and what to do if you’re heading to a big event soon and feeling a bit… panicky about it.

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MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO: 

👉 You can find Janine as @femalebusinessnetwork on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/femalebusinessnetwork) or Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/femalebusinessnetwork) 

👉Or under “Janine Friston” on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janine-friston-connector-and-small-business-mentor/

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Connect with me on socials: 

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TIMESTAMPS ⏱️

00:00 Introduction to Networking for Introverts and to Janine Friston: Networking Expert

01:03 Overcoming Networking Stereotypes

01:51 Building Genuine Connections

03:21 Networking Tips for Introverts

07:05 Applying Networking Insights to Marketing

15:35 Preparing for Big Networking Events

19:22 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

You can download your complimentary guide to "Three Techniques to Validate Your Offer Before You Launch" here: https://www.orangesheepresearch.co.uk/validate

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Transcript

0:00

Today we are talking all about networking, but I don't mean the sweaty handshake, elevator pitch kind. If you've ever felt like networking is just a place to get sold to or somewhere you have to go and pretend to be someone you are not just to fit in, then this one's for you. We are digging into what actually useful networking looks like, especially if you are more quiet, introverted, or allergic to TikTok dances. I'm bringing in a special guest for this episode. You will hear from Janine Friston, who's an absolute expert on networking, particularly for introverts. She specializes in helping women build genuine business connections in ways that feel safe, natural, and right for them. We talk about the underestimated benefits of networking, how it helps you get to know your ideal clients better. Of course. And how to bring those warm two-way relationships into your wider marketing. And stick around to the end.'cause we'll be sharing Janine's top tips for how to get the most out of big, potentially overwhelming events like the one we are both going to in two weeks time and we're very excited about. If you ever thought networking just isn't for me, then this might just change your mind. And if you enjoy going to networking but are unsure whether it's actually having any impact on your business, this is also for you. Welcome to the Upside Up Marketing podcast. Using marketing to persuade people to buy your thing is hard, icky, and not an effective use of your time. It's an upside down way of doing things. Introducing upside up marketing, helping you create offers people want to buy and share them in a way that feels good. All over a nice cup of tea. Welcome to the Upside Up Marketing podcast. And yes, like I say, this week we're talking all about networking. Um. Very, very excited.'cause two weeks today at the time of recording, I'm gonna be at my favorite networking event of the year, which is a event called Atomicon Run by Andrew and Pete, who are two fantastic, uh, marketers and marketing coaches, this will be the third time I've gone. Absolutely love it, but I always wonder, am I getting the most out of it? And I know you are wondering the same too. Obviously on this podcast we talk a lot about, getting to know your people better and I always feel like networking as a business to business business, um, I should be able to do a lot more on that at networking events. So we'll be talking about that too. Um, and yeah, it is basically, uh, how to do networking. The upside up way. So, uh, yes. Like I said, I'm very excited to welcome our guest, Janine Friston. Uh, Janine, would you like to introduce yourself?

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 2:16

Yeah, of course. So thank you for inviting me here. So I'm Janine Friston and I run the Female Business Network. Um, I work with generally introverted and quiet to women in business who want to network, build their connections and build a business in a way that feels safe and quieter. And more about who they are as people rather than having to dance on TikTok or, um, you know, do all the extrovert things that we have to do these days. Feeling that we need to be visible and seen.

2:49

Mm, I love that. And I think that counts for a big group of us. Uh, the, uh, group that don't want to be so extroverted aren't quite as loud and in your face. But of course they're the ones you see the most of online so they can feel like this sort of pressure, can't they to be like that and show up like that. And for some of us, that's just not who we are. So I love that you're doing that. And for context, anyone who hasn't come across Janine before, I think Janine and I, we've, we've been in each other's worlds for a while now, haven't we? Um, and Janine is an absolute expert on networking. And something we talk about a lot on this podcast is getting that human connection. Getting into those conversations and having those relationships and networking is actually a really, really good way of doing this. But networking, it can. It's got a bit of a bad rep sometimes, hasn't it? Like when you first come into business, I dunno about you, but the first sort of networking that I heard about was like the BNI and things like that, which can be very um. Very sales based, very pushy. Like you go to networking with the sole purpose of getting clients or making relationships with other people who are gonna get you clients. And it's all very, um, driven on making these referrals and getting these leads and it can feel quite aggressive and, uh, uncomfortable if you are, especially if you are like a quieter, sort of introverted person. But of course there is so, so much more to networking than that. So Janine, what do you see as the sort of deeper, less obvious benefits to networking other than just showing up and finding people to buy your thing? You know, the things that might not be immediately apparent when you first think about it

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 4:14

yeah, and I think the way that you described it there is exactly how I felt when I first started back in 18 is like I thought I knew, I knew I needed to networking. There's got to be more to it than this. You know, it can't just be, you know, this sales focused, referral focused, stuffy corporate style networking, which is why I started my own, because I didn't want that style of networking. I wanted a more conversational style of networking where I could build those relationships and meet. Some just generally nice people, because that's where it all started really. Um, I think networking, I think it does depend what you looking for. I. There's a, a space for all types of networking depending on who you are as a person, what stage you're at in your business, who you want to meet, what you want to get out from it. So, um, you know, you mentioned the more formal structured, um, BNI style and networking, and that works for a lot of people. A lot of people like that structure. They like the formalities of it. But I think there's so much more to networking than just making sales and gaining clients. You know, I've been, I've had so many people say, you know, I haven't got a client from that group, so I'm never gonna go back. Or, I'm too busy to go networking. I don't need any more clients. Well, actually networking, you know, quite a lot of us work from home. We work for ourselves. We love that freedom and flexibility of being able to do that. But similarly, it's also nice to have that genuine connection with people, to have conversations, to meet other people. Um, and I think for some people you might not need any more clients. She, networking is about learning new skills is about getting confident in what your business is, who you help, how you help people. It can be a sounding board for ideas that you've got in a safe space with people that you've grown to know, like, and trust. And so there's so much. Just going out there and making sales. And for some people, I think just going out and then just meeting people, meeting people that are in the same sort of situation as you are in life right now. You know, if you don't have a, like, I don't have anyone in my family or friendship group that is, uh, a business owner. And so for me, part of that is just getting to know people that know what it's like the rollercoaster of running a business, all the. And this is where you just need to choose the groups wisely or the communities wisely. That's gonna give you what you need from it. And it could be a combination of communities, depending on, you know, what you need at that time.

6:56

That's brilliant and yeah, I completely agree. Like I find when you get that right group, it's so, um, energizing and inspiring, having those like conversations with people. Yeah. Really brilliant. So, um, one thing that, um, I use networking for is obviously I'm always looking to understand more about my ideal clients and, um. I'm always like out there asking questions, just listening to what people are saying. But what I find really powerful about networking events is like when. When you are like, you can just dig that a little bit deeper. I find that when you're actually sitting next to someone and you're asking them how things are going, they're just that little bit more candid, they're a little bit more relaxed and, uh, you know, they, they'll say what they really think and what they really mean, not the sort of polished version that they. Want you to hear or think you want to hear, or, uh, you know, the one they would put out on social media or even like, I don't know, a group call or something like that. If you're actually sitting next to someone and asking about something, you get what it's really like to be them a bit more. I was in an event and I, I bumped into someone I sort of know online and I was like, oh, you know how things are going, you know, it looks like you're really smashing it. And she was like, well no, actually things are really quiet at the moment and the reason you're seeing so much for me is that I haven't got that much client work on. So that's why I'm on social media more. And I thought, well, yeah, that makes sense. But obviously you wouldn't have picked that up at all if you were just looking at their social media to learn about them. So, um, I dunno what your take is on that. I find it really useful for that sort of thing.

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 8:09

Yeah, no, a hundred percent. I think, um, we had that in one of my, um, networking groups yesterday actually. So there was, you know, five of us there. And I think people also get thinking that. Be ha to have a successful networking group means you've got to have thirty, forty, fifty people on the call or in the group or in the, the event, in meeting if it's in real life. Um, and actually you can have better conversations and like I say, drill down deeper into supporting each other and helping each other grow their business in a smaller group, which is what I'm all about with it being introvert friendly. I think, yeah, I think, you know, we had it yesterday where we were, it was more like a little bit of a mini mastermind. We were all sort of supporting each other. Someone came up with a, uh, an idea or an issue that they were having or uncertainty of what, where they should go in their marketing next. And so actually we were all able to ask them the questions, you know. Who do you want to talk to? What stage of business are they? What stage of life have they got? What do they enjoy? So actually from an ideal client perspective, we were able to ask that person to really think about it. Um, and like you say, in a small group or in a group that you feel safe in having those conversations, you can get so much more than just having a large group where it. Maybe everyone just talking over each other and then a speaker, and then you all leave and you're like, oh, that was nice. It was a nice event, but I actually don't feel like I've got anything from that meeting. For me, networking is about the conversations and the connections, not just about listening to a, a speaker who, no matter how fabulous they are, get something from it. I wanna, you know, get that new connection or make that relationship or, you know, be inspired to take some action in my business in some way. Um, and so I think this is where, like I say, the ideal clients, the action, the ideas, the inspiration from each other can really support if you are in that right community for sure.

10:12

Mm, that's so true, isn't it? And uh, yeah. Just to clarify, when I say learning about your ideal clients, that's not necessarily even talking to them directly. I mean, the events I go to as someone who works with other businesses, obviously there a lot, are a lot of ideal clients there, but actually just talking to other people that work with the same sort of people can give you an amazing insight into what's actually going on in the industry. And with the people that you know, you, you are there to support.

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 10:32

And you know, if you are coming up with a, a barrier or a block to something and just having a different perspective, people that are perhaps outside of your ideal clients, outside of your traditional. Audience, but would have a different perspective on things that you might not have thought about or a different idea of how you could implement something into your business maybe, or change or tweak something or, or something like that that, you know, just gives you that viewpoint on something.

10:59

Mm, absolutely. Yeah. And um, I think what you said there about it being space, a safe space is really critical, isn't it? Because I mean, even when, uh, like when you meet someone in face-to-face, real life, or even on an online networking call, it's unlikely to be recorded at all. Whereas if you're in a group call, a group coaching session or something like that, they're very often recorded to, uh, access the replay for people, even people that weren't there. And it is just not the same vibe is it? It is just like you can't quite have the same quality of conversations.'cause everyone's a little bit guarded and doesn't really want to open up in the way that they would do if it was completely off the record and not being recorded at all. Even like on a group program where you know the other people, it's still. I dunno, I, I, I definitely find people are more candid when it's off the record, relaxed, not part of a program, et cetera, et cetera. It must just be the way our human brains work. Um, it makes a big difference.

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 11:49

Yeah.

11:49

I'd love to know what do you think we can learn from the way we interact with people on networking events that we can bring to our wider marketing?'cause it's a bit different, isn't it, being in the same room as someone versus, um, like online marketing can be a little bit like, I'm on the pedestal and you can listen to me and it's. Like there's the potential for it to be two way, but the vibe is often sort of a broadcast one directional. But, networking's very real, isn't it? Like what can we learn from that that we can bring into our wider marketing and the way we interact with our followers, our audience, our potential clients, and indeed our, our community and our actual clients.

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 12:22

Yeah, I think, like I said before, I, I see networking as conversations, as relationship building, and I think lots of times marketing or online marketing, I. Whether it's email, social media, whatever it might be, can be quite broadcast in terms of, look at what I've got, look at what I'm about, look at this. Um, and people forget that human side to it, that conversation, that relationship. They, they forget that you can. Build connections through marketing in lots of different ways. It's not just about building connection in terms of networking side. And so I think network I, I talk about networking in lots of ways. You've got the real life in real life meetings. You've got the Zoom networking groups, but also whether or not you are in online communities when you're doing your social media. People talk about, you know, dms and, you know, message me and stuff. I actually use DMS as a conversation, as a connection based, as a relationship building tool, as a way of supporting other people and see it as a networking opportunity rather than just selling to people. So actually I've had some amazing conversations with people in messages that I've never met, I've never spoken to, but we've built con, we've built that connection. Through taking the time to ask questions, to find out more about what's working well, what are they working on, what are they, what support might they need, what you know, can they maybe help me in some way if I've seen something. So I think from a marketing perspective, it's about using that connection and that conversation. In a way that helps to support that. And I do that with my email marketing as well. I always, you know, quite often say to people at the end of my emails, hit reply. Let me know what you're working on. Let me know what you're struggling with. Let me know what you can help with. You know, networking doesn't just have to be in the room with people on a call with people. You can network in all aspects of your marketing, um, and choose to do it as a relationship building. Tool instead of just a broadcast tool with what I would think anyway.

14:33

Mm. I think it's so, that's so important and I think that's what marketing should be anyway, isn't it? Like ultimately that's the most effective way of doing it? Like when you go and say LinkedIn like. How many people actually go on LinkedIn going, I, you know, I'm coming on here to get business advice and potentially purchase some support for my business or be sold to, et cetera, et cetera. It's not many people. I actually ran a poll on LinkedIn not so long ago about this and said, you know, why are you coming on LinkedIn? And the top two reasons were, um, I think number two actually was to find ideal clients themselves. So find people that they can sell to. Um, but the top reason just was for connection and to feel like you have coworkers and to. Just hang out and sort of be entertained, like feels like it's cheapening it a bit, but it's not. It's really, really important when you work on your own that you have those kind of conversations with people who are going through the same things as you. So like, if that's why people are going on LinkedIn, um, then if you are showing up and just broadcasting useful content and information about the products you sell, it's not really gonna get you very far. So, yeah, I think you are absolutely spot on. It's all about conversations and it's all about connection. And, uh, you and I are both going to a big, uh, networking event very, very soon, aren't we? Um, the Atomic Con Conference, anyone not familiar with it? It's a big sales and marketing conference in Newcastle. Um, it is. I mean, there's. Well over a thousand people there in person and many, many more virtually. Um, there are pre-event, post-event fringe events. So much going on on the actual day. There's like four different stages with things going on. Um, it's amazing. It's amazing. But like we were saying before, like. Often you're not there for the actual sessions, you're not there for the speakers, although there are some amazing speakers. I know what really makes it is the people and the networking and the people I meet, the people I meet, that I know online that I've never met before or, you know, catching up with, from having seen on previous years or, um, you know, meeting new people. So what are your tips for people like me going to this event who want to get the most out of it?

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 16:23

I think it's to, you know, the good thing is most of these events they will advertise and promote beforehand the sessions are, who the speakers are, what's involved, where they are, and stuff like that. So I think it's just having, having a plan of who, what you want to get, knowing what you, what you want to get out it. First off. For me, as an introvert for instance, it can feel quite overwhelming and daunting to into that. I go, oh my God, this is a huge space. I dunno where to go first, what to do first. All these people, the hustle and bustle. So actually having a bit more of a, a plan of you want to go in. See talk and what you want to learn about, um, that's gonna benefit you and your business. But also with these big groups and big conferences and events, there's lots of things going on behind the scenes. So there's, you know, networking meetings and breakout sessions and meetups here, and meetups there, and. I it's just what you want to get out of it and making the most of those, that time that you've got available. So, you know, go out there and have a few conversations with people. You know, whenever I go to a new networking group or a new networking meeting or an event or something like that, I always just sort of say to myself, okay, so let's just go in chapter maybe two or three people. Don't, there's.

_1_03-20-2025_141308-1: 17:52

Oh my gosh. Just the thought of it.

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 17:54

I know exactly. You know, so just maybe challenge yourself just to talk to just one or two people that you've never met before, but also with these ones, there will also be people that maybe you have met, like online that you've never met in real life. We met last year at atomic com for the first time. We hadn't met in real life before, so actually maybe arrange to go and see some people that you've only met online and have a coffee or a drink beforehand or afterwards or something. So I think use that as a way from a networking perspective to. Build some relationships that with people that maybe you've only met in the group or online beforehand, and start to develop that connection. But then also just sort of say, okay, let's just chat to two or three people that have never met before and let's start a new connection off. Let's start a new relationship off. Um, and don't feel pressured to think you have to speak to everybody. Go to every event, go to every, um, you know, meetup beforehand or afterwards and, and things like that, because otherwise it becomes a, full, a full-time job for those, you know, couple of weeks leading up to it. And you're not gonna do anything else in your business.

18:59

Not to mention following up with everyone afterwards, if you've, uh, if you've swapped details.

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 19:04

Exactly. Yeah.

19:04

Oh, brilliant. I'm so, so looking forward to it. And you and I, we'll have to make sure we get up, we get together properly and have a proper chat this year.'cause I think we only sort of passed in a corridor when we met last time, didn't we? So, uh, yeah. We need to get together properly

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 19:16

yeah.

19:17

Amazing. Well, thank you so, so much for that Janine. Um, it's been absolutely fantastic. If people want to know more about you and what you do and your introvert friendly networking, um, and everything else you offer, where are they best to find you? Where, where, where can they connect with you?

janine-friston---fbn_1_03-20-2025_141309-2: 19:31

Yeah, so thanks Network. I talking how can. Build their connections in a way that feels right for them. Um, and like I say, there are so many different ways that you can do that. But as you said before, actually the important bit is that you do follow up with people. Um, and whether it's people that you've met in a community, in a program maybe that you've connected with or at an event that you've connected with or that you follow on social media, it's about following up with people that you feel would be right to develop that connection with. And that's the important part about networking. It's not just. A one-off thing. Um, if people do wanna, connect with me, they can find me over on Facebook and Instagram under the Female Business Network, or on LinkedIn under Janine Friston.

20:23

Amazing. Thank you. And I'll make sure all your links are popped in the show notes so people can get a hold of you with just one click. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing all that with us today. It's been a really, really valuable conversation and I'm also now super, super excited about Atomicon in, uh, two weeks time. I will definitely be taking your tips with me and, uh, putting all that into practice to make sure that I'm getting the most out of it your tips are gonna really, really help. And, I look forward to seeing you there and anyone else who's going to Atomicon do give us a shout and, uh. Would be lovely to see you there. If you're not, then um, just take those tips forward to any networking event you do. And if you've not done any, why not look into it. Um, if you're worried, start with Janine's, uh, introvert friendly female business network. Um, or if you're male, obviously not that one, but there are similar things out there. And, um, yeah, get stuck in'cause it's a fantastic way to meet people, a fantastic way to get closer to your ideal prospects, ideal clients, and, uh, other businesses going through the same thing that you are. And that's it from us this week. Thank you so much for listening. Make sure you hit subscribe or follow whatever the appropriate button is or whatever you are listening to or watching this on. And I'll see you next time around. And in the meantime, keep your marketing upside up. Thanks very much. Bye.