Friend-Zoned by your followers? Busting the ‘Know-Like-Trust’ Myth (Ep#21)

You’ve shown up. You’ve shared. You’ve built a lovely, loyal following who like you, comment on your posts… and never buy. Sound familiar?

The “know-like-trust” factor has been drilled into us as the holy grail of online business – but it’s not working like it used to. And for many solo business owners, it’s actually holding them back.

In this episode of The Upside-Up Marketing Podcast, I’m unpacking why familiarity doesn’t always lead to sales – and what you need to focus on instead.

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MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO: 

👉 Download my free resource “The Ideal Client Anti-Avatar” here: www.orangesheepresearch.co.uk/anti (if the link doesn’t work send me a message, I’m having migration-related tech issues right now!)

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🧡 Enjoyed this episode? Why not share it to your social media and tag me @orangesheepkatie – here’s the link: https://youtu.be/n75vSUWI5f8

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When you’re ready, here are three ways I can help you get faster results: 

SUBSCRIBE to "The Upside-Up Marketing Podcast here on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts 

DOWNLOAD your "Ideal Client Anti-Avatar" to help you focus on the things that DO matter, forget the things that don't - and how to tell which is which: www.orangesheepresearch.co.uk/anti 

WORK WITH ME: Go deeper with me 1:1 to create "Perfect Fit" offers and content – if you're ready to say goodbye to having to work so hard for every sale, and let your content and sales pages do the heavy lifting for you so you have people in your DMs already pre-sold on the idea of working with you, work in depth with me as we craft your magnetic message and create an offer that (pretty much!) sells itself – connect with me on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/katie-spreadbury and send me a message for the details! 

***Please bear with me as I migrate systems and update the tech in my business! There will be straight-up links to everything soon but for now don't be afraid to send me a message on socials, I promise I won't bombard you with DMs trying to convince you to buy, or "just checking in to see if you've had any more thoughts..." - that's not my style. At all. ***** 

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Connect with me on socials: 

➡️LinkedIn (the best place to find me): https://www.linkedin.com/in/katie-spreadbury 

➡️Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/orangesheepresearch 

➡️Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/orangesheepkatie 

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TIMESTAMPS ⏱️

00:00 Introduction: The Know, Like, Trust Myth

02:49 The Problem with Know, Like, Trust

06:36 The Two Levels of Know, Like, Trust

08:40 The Role of Social Media in Business

13:05 Building Effective Content Strategies

17:39 Conclusion and Next Steps

You can download your complimentary guide to "Three Techniques to Validate Your Offer Before You Launch" here: https://www.orangesheepresearch.co.uk/validate

Find me on socials!
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YouTube

Transcript

0:00

So you've been told people buy from people they know, like, and trust. Right? You've heard that before? Yeah. Um, it's one of those sayings that gets tossed around like gospel in the online business world, isn't it? But here's the problem. It's not actually true. Well, not the whole truth anyway because while no, like, and trust can get you a few nods, some nice comments, some good engagement, it doesn't necessarily lead to sales. And if you are sat there wondering why your lovely, loyal following aren't buying this episode is gonna tell you why. We are digging into what's really going on when people don't buy, and the shift you can make to turn that engagement into income. And stick around to the end.'cause I'm gonna be sharing the question you need to ask yourself before your next launch to make sure you don't fall into that KLT trap again. Using marketing to persuade people to buy your thing is hard, icky, and not an effective use of your time. It's an upside down way of doing things. Introducing upside up marketing, helping you create offers people want to buy and share them in a way that feels good. All over a nice cup of tea. Hello everyone and welcome to the Upside Up Marketing podcast. Um, lovely, lovely to see you here. Um, I think we're gonna be digging into some really good stuff this week about the know, like, trust factor. It's one of those things that's bugged me for a while and I've never really sat down to think about why. Um, and this week I've really dug into it and I want to share what I've, uh, what I've come up with. I think I've got to the source of what feels so off about it to me. Um, those of you that are watching on YouTube, you may notice looking around that, uh, my background looks a bit different. Uh. We finally moved out of our house and, uh, currently bunking in with the in-laws while we wait for our purchase of our place to go through. Um, so yeah, that's why the background looks a bit strange. I still still found a place for Alan the sheep, though, up there on the wardrobe handle. So, uh, he's still joining us. Um, but yes, that's, that's where everything looks different today. And, uh, yes, you can track my house buying journey by the background in my podcast, what was recorded when. Um, but yes, for those of you that don't know me and don't care one. Dot what house I am currently in. My name is Katie Spreadbury, and, um, I'm a passionate advocate of human first ethical marketing. And I help businesses stuck in the hustle of finding their next client, spending all their time on sales calls, protracted DM conversations, trying to convince people to buy their thing tighten up your messaging, tighten up your offers, so that people buy straight from your content and your sales pages without having to go through this whole protracted thing, freeing you up. To take on that next project to scale your business, or just do some things outside of work, you know, for a change. Go for a walk in the woods, listen to the sound of the bird singing whatever it is you love to do that's what you can do with the extra time that gets freed up when you're not hustling for every single sale anyway. What are we talking about? I'm celebrating this month because it's actually my business birthday. Five years since I took Orange Sheep Research as a limited company.'cause I was actually earning enough for it to make it tax efficient. And five years since well shut up shop and curtailed all my main income streams in one fell swoop. Um, so I was in at the deep end when that happened, you know, and I had to learn marketing and I had to learn it fast. So I have done a lot of courses, programs, workshops, challenges, you name it, over the last five years as I've learned how to build my business and market it online in this way, and the one thing I hear repeat in almost every single one is you need to build the know, like trust factor or KLT for sure. The KLT factor. It's like, it's like the opposite of the X factor, isn't it? The X factor is like someone, when someone's so memorable,'cause they've just got a certain, something you can't quite put your finger on and um, you know, you can't quite describe it, but it's there. The no like trust factor is like, it gets, it's got vibes of the opposite, hasn't it? You wear them down by always being there, always showing up, always being in their feed until they have to know you and like you and trust you. Um, and the way it's sort of touted as a central part of online marketing, people don't buy from. Um, people don't buy from people they don't trust. People don't trust people they don't like. People don't like people they don't know. Um, so keep showing up till they know you keep showing up till they like you keep showing up so they trust you. It is repeated so much, it becomes an accepted truth. It's one of those things that everyone says it, so not everyone could be wrong, surely. Um, as an aside, always be wary of things like this because what if they've been influenced by the same gurus? What if they've been hearing it from the same people? Like given how the algorithm creates. Bubbles of people online creating echo chambers of people just repeating the same thing over and over again. The way our brains at work is the more we hear something, the more likely we are to believe it's true. Even if we started off knowing for a fact it was wrong, that it's not correct, the more time you hear it, it does wear you down and it does make you believe it's true. And before you know it, you are passing it on as received wisdom that you have no experience of. So, um. Be wary and you know, always have your critical thinking brain turned on when you, when you're hearing something over and over again, think, is this really true or has have, I just ended up in an echo chamber where this idea is just bouncing around and, you know, is, is is there more to it than this?'cause often messages as they get repeated, they get simplified and simplified. And I think that's what has happened here. Because if that's all there was to it, we'd all be millionaires, right? Um, so yeah. So yeah, like I said, I've been thinking about this, why this advice has always rung a little bit hollow to me. Um, like it sounds a bit. Basic, doesn't it? Like all you need to do is this turn up and post, and then if you, if you're, if, if it's not working, then you just need to do it some more. But in truth, no. Like trust is only half the story, isn't it? If, if, if it even gets up to being half of it, you know? Because the way most business owners would hear this and interpret it is as post consistently, show your face share stories, be authentic. Build a fan base, and like, yeah, don't get me wrong. Visibility matters, but visibility alone does not equal viability. Just'cause you're always there doesn't make you a viable business. I follow lots of people whose content I engage with regularly. I enjoy their stories, I appreciate their take. I comment on their posts because I like, you know, I can see they're coming from, from like the same worldview as me. Um, I like them as people, but it doesn't mean I'd ever hire them. It doesn't mean I trust them to get me results. And that's the part I think no one's talking about. So the first thing I want to talk about is, um, there are actually two levels to know, like trust. I mean, there's, knowing someone, do you know their name and there's knowing someone, do you feel like, do I feel like you know, I know you deeply do I know your values, your approach, your angle to the, the work, what you stand for? You know, how deeply do you let people know you? Then there's the like, thing, do I like you as a person? That's the first part of it. But do I actually actively like the way you think, the way you teach, the way you work? Do I like you enough to see myself thriving in your program or container? That's a very different thing. I love my best friend, but there's no way I would work with her. It would be an absolute nightmare. So, um. You know, it, it, there, there's two levels to this and then there's trust. Like you can trust someone is, um, showing up and being honest and auth authentic and you know, you can trust they are who they say they are and they're not catfishing you. But then do you actually trust them to get you the, you the result? Do you trust their expertise, their experience? Do you trust they really know what they're talking enough and have that depth of, um. Expertise to actually make it work for your business. That's a different thing entirely. When I see a lot of businesses putting out their content online, I think they're stuck in level one of this. Know, like, trust, they're oversharing in an effort to be relatable. Uh, building friendships with their audience instead of showing up as the expert they are, they're friend zoning, their followers, they're wondering why no one's buying. This is especially tricky for us solo business owners, isn't it? Unlike the big brands where no, like trust is shorthand for positive brand recognition. You know, it's about, um, you know, if you're familiar with a brand, you're more likely to trust that it's a major player, that it stuff's gonna be good quality, et cetera, et cetera. For us solo business owners, we are the brand. It's us when we go all in, on being human and authentic and vulnerable, which is a beautiful thing. We sometimes tip the balance too far. Think about one thing for me. Ask me one question. Why do you go on social media for your business? Have a little think. What's your favorite social media platform? Mine's LinkedIn. Um, why do you go on social media for your business? Why do you open Instagram and have a scroll through the feed? Why are you posting on LinkedIn? Most people are on social media for two reasons now. I actually ran a poll on my LinkedIn, uh, which confirmed my suspicions here. People are on LinkedIn for two reasons. Um, and this goes for most so social media. They're there to sell their own stuff and they're there to network. They are, and I'm gonna put being entertained under networking as well, chatting to people, having a good time, enjoying life. You know, when you work on your own. Having, being on social media and having people that you can chat to feels a bit like having colleagues, doesn't it? It makes it all a little bit less lonely. So, um, I'll include that. I'm not gonna include cat videos and things like that'cause that's not being on social media for your business, even though you might end up doing that while you're on the social media for your business. But when you're on social media strategically doing things for your business, it is generally to attract more clients and to, connect with people who could be useful to your business in some way. You are rarely, explicitly going on social media to be educated, to learn about things, to take advice or to buy. Now, those things might happen while you're there, but it's probably not the reason you're on it because that is a spending money thing, not a making money thing. So, yeah, people aren't on social media to buy. They're connecting with people whose content they enjoy. But whilst that would include some whose advice they find helpful for their business, it'll also be people who style. They like people whose content they like, people who make them laugh, people who post good pictures, people they like chatting with people who they think might be clients of theirs someday. Focusing too much on building low like trust by being authentic, familiar, and friendly means the people you're attracting might not actually be your ideal clients. They're just people that like have the same interests and the same worldview. People who will never buy, which can then mess up your algorithm.'cause then your content's gonna be shown to more people who are like the people who like engaging on your posts but are never gonna buy. And there is a temptation as well, isn't there? If you are trying to build a close relationship with your followers, and you know, as you chat more and get to know the people that show up in your field all the time better, there's a temptation to overshare, to be vulnerable, to share when you're having a real challenge or something's going on in with in your life. Now, many people will cheer you on for doing this and say, oh, you know, go you. It's great to be vulnerable, but it makes you look human, et cetera, et cetera. But I mean, I dunno about you, but if I'm spending a significant sum of money, I'm not looking for someone who is going to be leaning on me to support them. I want to know someone who's strong enough to be able to support me. So the people that are cheering you on it, it's pushing you further into that friend zone, that mutual support, if you're investing money in someone, you want someone who's gonna be solid, reliable, someone who can hold space for you and can help you with your wobbles and your mindset. Not someone that you feel like you need to support yourself. I've stayed in memberships far longer than I wanted to and wasted hundreds of pounds.'cause I was worried about the impact on the host if I left because I could see when people left, they took it personally. I'm al I'm still on loads of email lists that I don't want to be on because I'm worried if I unsubscribe. They're gonna click on see who under who, unsubscribed and see my name. And I consider us friends. I'm never gonna buy from them. I'm, it's a waste of time. Them having me on my email, on their email list, they don't do something that is something I'm in the market for or ever likely to be. But because I consider us friends from the relationship we've built up on social media and through, through networking, I don't feel like I can unsubscribe from their newsletter. And all these things make me wary now about signing up for things in the first place. I have to know that if I want to, I'm gonna be able to slink away without causing an issue or upsetting them. So just think about how vulnerable you really want to show up and what side of yourself you want to put forward. If you are trying to attract clients through your content, by all means share that behind the scenes. It is important that people know who you are and know they can like you. And you know, there's no like trusting it is a thing. But it's not the only thing. Just have a think about that and make sure you're not friend zoning people. Don't forget if you're posting to build your business, your content's not your journal. Your followers aren't your therapists. Okay. You are there to support them, not the other way around. This is where the myth starts to break down. I think people don't just need to know you. They don't just need to like you. They need to know what you do, who it's for. And they know that they need to trust you to be able to support them and get them the results. Not that they like you as a person and they like you as a friend. And I think the way that the no, like trust factor is often taught as a, um, sort of holy grail. It can veer into that side of things and you end up building a great network of friends, but the bank's still empty. So what do we do with all of this? Well, we need to stop treating, no, like trust as a destination and see it as part of the process, the foundation, if you like. And once we've got that, especially the deeper version of no, like trust, then we can start building on it with this relevance and this urgency. So that means speaking directly to the real life situations your audience are in, using their language, their struggles, their goals, being specific about what your offer changes and why that matters now. And crucially, stop educating just for the sake of it. So take a look back through your last five posts. Are you sharing the important things that are gonna help people understand what your offers are, and whether they are right for them? Or are they all just content that whilst entertaining, it might get you some likes? And engagement actually isn't steering people towards anything. We are not here to be passive content creators. We are here to lead. We are here to help people with our skills, and that means not being afraid to share exactly how we can do that. So if this is resonating with you, if you've built this fan base and you're thinking, oh gosh, well now I think there's lots of people in my audience who actually aren't my ideal client, but how do I know who's who? Then have a look at my resource. The. Ideal client anti avatar. Now, what this is, is it's a resource where it's a workbook, which you can work your way through, which helps you figure out exactly who your ideal client is, but not in the usual way that most ideal client avatar exercises would, would do. This is one that helps you identify the things that actually matter about who your ideal client is, and then helps you shape your message so you can be talking just to those people, because once you fix your content and start. Beacon just to the people who are your ideal clients. The rest will sort itself out, no generic guesswork, no sitting there thinking really hard about what car they drive and what their name might be, and whether they have brown hair or blonde hair. Um, just powerful, practical exercises that get you right under the skin of your absolute perfect fit people. So you can speak directly to them and stop attracting people who like you, but never quite by. You can grab this resource absolutely for free. The link is in the show notes. Um, so go download it now, pop the kettle on, and start rewriting that message in a way that actually converts. Okay, bonus time. Here's the question I promised you at the start. Um, and it's one to ask yourself before your next launch, and that is what would make someone see this sales page and think, oh my gosh, this is exactly what I need right now. Not what would make them think it's good, not what would make them like you more, but what would make them feel seen and would make them feel that this is something that they need? What I want you to do is highlight something that is actually happening for them right now. A frustration they face. Show them a way through, like I don't say sell more of your offers. I say cut the amount of time that you are speaking to people on sales calls and protracted. Conversations in the dms, trying to convince them to buy'cause that is what is frustrating people, how much effort it takes to get every sale. It's a tangible thing that's annoying them that I can genuinely help with. So that's what I talk about. Don't just say I help you lose weight, because Yeah, that'd be nice. And it is, um. It is quite vague, but also don't say I help you to lose 10 pounds because. To some people, that's gonna be almost nothing. And to some people, that's gonna be a huge chunk of weight. And so it's gonna, you know, it, things like that are less believable these days. I think now that the internet is full of these sorts of claims, so say things like, remember those jeans that you hid in the back of the wardrobe when you realize they didn't quite fit anymore and you couldn't quite bring yourself to throw them away'cause you knew one day you'd fit in them again. Now's the time, now's the time to get them out. We are gonna get you to fit in them again. That's something real. I've got jeans like that in the wardrobe. I don't mind admitting I really like those jeans, but, and it, and it really upsets me that they don't fit me anymore. But, um, I won't throw'em away'cause I'm absolutely determined one day I'll fit into them again. Being specific like that really helps your potential clients see that you understand them, you understand where they're at and what's going on for them and what frustrations they have, and that in itself is enough to build the know, like trust factor way faster than any generic content you might be putting out there about what you had for your lunch. That's it from me today. Thank you so much for watching and listening. And if you enjoyed that, do let me know. Comment on my social posts about it, reply to my email wherever you heard about it. Uh, leave a comment on YouTube. If you're watching on YouTube, I would love to know what you took out of it and what you think of it. Um, you know, where, where does no like trust work for you and where does it fall down? Um, do share. And don't forget to hit subscribe. I've got some amazing episodes coming up. In two weeks time, the next episode is gonna be another interview episode, and we have the incredible Jerry Potter, who is actually the guy who taught me how to podcast. And what he does is he helps people create a business they can run in fewer hours which leaves you with more time to do the other things that bring you joy. And he is gonna be talking to us about, the different messages we need to put out in different places, so that is gonna be out in two weeks time. Thank you very much for joining me today and remember to keep your marketing upside up and I'll see you next time. Bye.